5.19 【听演讲学英语】想不想做一个会聊天的人？主播给你十条沟通技巧

英语PK台

TED TALKS

听演讲学英语

本期主题

Celeste Headlee:

10 ways to have a better conversation

Celeste Headlee:

10种方法，做一个会聊天的人

演讲者

Celeste Headlee

是一个以交谈为职业的人，

她的工作是电台主持人。

几十年的工作中她学到了许多沟通技巧，

也发现居然有那么多人真的不会聊天。

她在TEDxCreativeCoast与大家分享

十条提高谈话质量的方法

为何要听她演讲？

When your job hinges on how well you talk to people, you learn a lot about how to have conversations — and that most of us don't converse very well. Celeste Headlee has worked as a radio host for decades, and she knows the ingredients of a great conversation: Honesty, brevity, clarity and a healthy amount of listening. In this insightful talk, she shares 10 useful rules for having better conversations. "Go out, talk to people, listen to people," she says. "And, most importantly, be prepared to be amazed."

当你的工作仰仗于你和他人的交谈有多好的时候，你会学到很多交流技巧——其实我们都掌握得不太好。Celeste Headlee 在广播主持领域工作了十几年，她知道高质量交谈的要素：真诚、简明、清晰，以及健康地倾听。在这场发人深省的演讲中，她分享了营造良好交谈的10个有效准则。“走出门去，和他人交谈，听别人说，以及最重要的，准备好大吃一惊。”

14点电台直播

主持：京晶嘉宾:Jessica

”

演讲片段精听

So this world that we live in, this world in which every conversation has the potential to devolve into an argument, where our politicians can't speak to one another and where even the most trivial of issues have someone fighting both passionately for it and against it, it's not normal. We're less likely to compromise, which means we're not listening to each other. And we make decisions about where to live, who to marry and even who our friends are gonna be, based on what we already believe. Again, that means we're not listening to each other.

因此，在我们生活的这个世界，这个每一次交谈都有可能发展为争论的世界，政客无法彼此交谈，甚至为那些鸡毛蒜皮的事情都有人群情激昂地赞成或反对，这太不正常了。我们更不倾向于妥协，这意味着我们没有倾听彼此。我们做的各种决定，选择生活在何处，与谁结婚甚至和谁交朋友，都只基于我们已有的信念。再重复一遍，这说明我们没有倾听彼此。

Vocabulary:

Politician [ˌpɑ:ləˈtɪʃn]

政治家;政客，玩弄权术者;

Trivial [ˈtrɪviəl] 琐碎的，无价值的;不重要的;

Compromise [ˈkɑ:mprəmaɪz] 妥协;或折中方案;

A conversation requires a balance between talking and listening, and somewhere along the way, we lost that balance. So I'd like to spend the next 10 minutes or so teaching you how to talk and how to listen. Many of you have already heard a lot of advice on this, things like look the person in the eye, think of interesting topics to discuss in advance, nod and smile to show that you're paying attention, repeat back what you just heard or summarize it. So I want you to forget all of that. It is crap.There is no reason to learn how to show you're paying attention if you are in fact paying attention. We've all had really great conversations. The kind of conversation where you walk away feeling engaged and inspired, or where you feel like you've made a real connection or you've been perfectly understood.

一次成功的对话要求说话者和倾听者之间有一个平衡，通常我们会在这个过程中的某个一点失衡，所以我希望用接下来的10分钟教你们如何谈话，以及如何倾听。你们中间很多人已经听过无数建议，比如看着对方的眼睛，提前想好可以讨论的有趣话题，注视，点头并且微笑来表明你的专注，重复你刚才听到的，或者做总结。我想让你们忘掉所有这些，全都没用。根本没必要去学习如何表现你很专心，如果你确实很专心。我们都曾有过很棒的交谈。我们都曾有过。那种结束之后令你感到很享受，很受鼓舞的交谈，或者令你觉得你和别人建立了真实的连接，或者让你完全得到了他人的理解。

Vocabulary:

repeat back 重复

Crap [kræp] 废话;废物;排泄;排泄物

Inspire [ɪnˈspaɪr] 激励;鼓舞;启迪;赋予灵感

So I have 10 basic rules. If you just choose one of them and master it, you'll already enjoy better conversations. Number one: Don't multitask. If you want to get out of the conversation, get out of the conversation, but don't be half in it and half out of it. Number two: Don't pontificate. If you wanted to state your opinion without any opportunity for response or argument or push back or growth, write a blog.

我有10条基本规则。如果你选择一条并且熟练掌握，你就已经可以享受更愉快的交谈了。第一条：不要三心二意。如果你想退出交谈，就退出交谈。但不要身在曹营心在汉。第二条：不要过于自负地表达。如果你想要表达自己的看法，又不想留下任何机会让人回应、争论、反驳或阐发，写博客去。

Vocabulary:

Pontificate [pɑ:nˈtɪfɪkeɪt]

自负地谈论；武断地说话

You need to enter every conversation assuming that you have something to learn. The famed therapist M. Scott Peck said that true listening requires a setting aside of oneself. He said that sensing this acceptance, the speaker will become less and less vulnerable and more and more likely to open up the inner recesses of his or her mind to the listener. Bill Nye: "Everyone you will ever meet knows something that you don't."

你需要在进入每一次交流时都假定自己可以学习到一些东西。著名的治疗师 M.斯科特·派克说过，真正的倾听需要把自己放在一边。有时候，这意味着把你的个人观点放在一边。他说感受到这种接纳，说话的人会变得越来越不脆弱敏感，因而越来越有可能打开自己的内心世界，呈现给倾听者。再强调一遍，假定你需要学习新东西。比尔·奈伊说：“每一个你将要见到的人都有你不知道的东西。”

Vocabulary:

Setting aside

把…放置一旁；不理会；取消

Vulnerable [ˈvʌlnərəbəl]

易受伤的;易受批评的;

Recess [ˈriˌsɛs, rɪˈsɛs]

（思想或心灵的）深处

Number three: Use open-ended questions. Start your questions with who, what, when, where, why or how. If you put in a complicated question, you're going to get a simple answer out. If I ask you, "Were you terrified?" you're going to respond to the most powerful word in that sentence, which is "terrified," and the answer is "Yes, I was" or "No, I wasn't." Let them describe it. They're the ones that know. Try asking them things like, "What was that like?" "How did that feel?

第三点：使用开放式问题。以“谁”、“什么”、“何时”、“何地”、 “为什么”或“如何”开始提问。如果你询问一个复杂的问题将会得到一个简单的回答。如果我问你：“你当时恐惧吗？” 你会回应那句话中最有力的词，即“恐惧”，而答案将是 “是的”或者“不是”。 “你当时气愤吗？” “是的，我当时气得很。” 让对方去描述，对方才是了解情境的人。试着这样问对方： “那是什么样子？” “你感觉怎么样？”

Vocabulary:

open-ended questions. 开放式提问

Number four: Go with the flow. That means thoughts will come into your mind and you need to let them go out of your mind. Number five: If you don't know, say that you don't know. Number six: Don't equate your experience with theirs. All experiences are individual. And, more importantly, it is not about you. Number seven: Try not to repeat yourself. Especially in work conversations or in conversations with our kids, we have a point to make, so we just keep rephrasing it over and over. Don't do that.

第四点：顺其自然。也就是说，想法会自然流入你的头脑，而你需要将它们表达出来。第五点：如果你不知道，就说你不知道。第六条：不要把自己的经历和他人比较。任何经历都是独一无二的。而且，更重要的是，这不是在谈论你的事。第七条：尤其是在工作交谈中，或者和孩子的交谈中。我们想声明一个观点，于是换着方式不停地说，不要这样做。

Vocabulary:

go with the flow

顺其自然

Equate with

把…相提并论;与…等同

Number eight: Stay out of the weeds. So forget the details. Leave them out. Number nine: This is not the last one, but it is the most important one. Listen：I cannot tell you how many really important people have said that listening is perhaps the most, the number one most important skill that you could develop. One more rule, number 10, and it's this one: Be brief. [A good conversation is like a miniskirt; short enough to retain interest, but long enough to cover the subject. — My Sister]

第八条：少说废话。所以忘掉细节吧，没人在乎它们。第九条：这不是最后一条，但是最重要的一条。认真倾听。我说不上来到底有多少重要人士都说过倾听可能是最重要的，第一重要的你可以提升的技能。最后一条，第十条：简明扼要。“好的交谈就像恰到好处的迷你裙；足够短，能够吸引人，又足够长，能够包纳（盖住）主体 ——我妹妹的比喻”

Vocabulary:

weeds 杂草，不重要的事物

Miniskirt 迷你裙，超短裙

Retain 保持，保留

All of this boils down to the same basic concept, and it is this one: Be interested in other people. I keep my mouth shut as often as I possibly can, I keep my mind open, and I'm always prepared to be amazed, and I'm never disappointed.

所有这些都浓缩成同一个概念，那就是：对他人产生兴趣。我尽量少说话，但开放自己的思想，永远准备着大吃一惊，而我从不会感到失望。

Vocabulary:

Boil down to 浓缩, 摘要,归结为…

完

了解更多Celeste Headlee

Celeste Headlee hosts a daily news/talk show, On Second Thought, on Georgia Public Broadcasting. Headlee has worked in public radio since 1999, as a reporter, host and correspondent. She was the Midwest Correspondent for NPR before becoming the co-host of the PRI show "The Takeaway.” After that, she guest hosted a number of NPR shows including "Tell Me More,” "Talk of the Nation,” "Weekend All Things Considered” and "Weekend Edition". Headlee also anchored election coverage for PBS World in 2012 and was a regular guest on CNN.

Celeste Headlee 是每日新闻主播，同时也供职于乔治亚州公共广播公司。Headlee从1999年开始投身公共广播事业，曾做过记者，主持人和通讯记者。在做国际公共广播电台的节目“外卖” 的搭档主持之前，她曾是国内公用无线电台中西部的通讯记者。从那之后，她作为特邀嘉宾主持了多档国内公用无线电台的节目，包括：“讲述更多你的故事”，“国家访谈”，“周末娱乐”“周末特报”。Headlee 主持了公共广播公司2012年世界范围内选举，也是美国有线新闻网络常客。

学到了什么？

我们生活的世界，人们虽然看上去天天都在交流，

却依然充满争论，忽略，武断，不倾听。

成功的对话需要交谈双方达到听说平衡，

但实际交流中我们常会因为诸如

自以为是、缺乏耐心等原因令交流质量大打折扣。

一位经常做访谈的主播总结出了十条心得

来帮助人们学会走心诚恳、富有成效的交谈，

如果可以学习做一个真正会聊天的人，也不错呢。

演j讲来源：TED

音频编剪：Jessica

文本采集及单词：Monica