看书有道 阅读美文
Reading makes a full man
阅
·
思
考
与人打交道通常会遇到一些十分尴尬的状况。比如在宴席上不得不与身边的陌生人聊天,你发现彼此话不投机,说不到一块去;比如对方不停谈论孩子多优秀,自己多成功,或者对你的抛出的话题毫无应答兴趣,让聊天陷入僵局。遭遇这种情况,你会忍耐还是直截了当地给予聊天反馈?
在生活中有时会收到许多不请自来的“反馈” ,也就是别人给你的意见,常常针对你为人处事的某些细节,那些“善意而直接”的意见当然总会令你不悦,甚至生气,然而你通常会怎么看待这些逆耳忠言?同时,你是不是一个喜欢给别人直接指出“问题”的人?(对,有些纠结,不知这是不是某种强迫症?)
东西方在处事上有文化差异。东方人隐忍,凡事照顾他人颜面,可说可不说的话不说,既羞于启齿,也不愿让他人难堪,令自己不悦之事一般按捺不表(网络另论)。西方人讲求效率,真诚大胆直接,会在礼貌的前提下直接摊牌,直指问题核心,少有面子观念,行事结果导向,重视修正及解决问题。
本篇双语阅读是西方人所写,作者接触到几位“直给忠言”的人以后,经历了转变与思考。
Feedback: just go for it!
该不该对陌生人说出逆耳忠言
14点直播
Feedback:
just go for it!
You go to a formal dinner party.
你参加一个正式晚宴。
You talk to the person on one side during the starter,
the other during the main course.
你在吃前菜期间与坐在你一边的人聊天,
在吃主菜的时候与坐在你另一边的人聊天。
Sometimes the conversation skips along,
more often it drags and falters.
有时谈话相当投机,更多时候则是拖泥带水,话说不到一起去。
You enjoy or endure the evening, and then you go home.
你享受(或者忍受)了一个晚上,然后你回家了。
词汇释义
1. Starter 英 [ˈstɑ:tə(r)] 美 [ˈstɑrtə(r)] n.(主菜之前的)开胃小吃;
2. Main course n.主菜; 大菜;
3. Skips along (Verb, from: to skip + along/on) 话题转换迅速
4. Drags (Verb, from: to drag) 英 [drægz] 美 [drægz] n.在地上拖拉,慢吞吞地走,
5. Falters (Verb, from: to falter) [ˈfɔ:ltəz] v. 支吾其词; 蹒跚; 摇晃,不成功
To stop being strong or successful: to begin to fail or weaken.
6. Endure (Verb, from: to endure + something negative) 英 [ɪnˈdjʊə(r)] 美 [ɪnˈdʊr] vt.忍耐; 容忍;vi.持续,持久; 忍耐;
That is, unless you are Robert Hiscox.
一般是这样的——除非你是罗伯特.希斯考克斯(Robert Hiscox)。
The founder of the eponymous insurance company told me some years ago that at the end of a dinner party he turned to the people on either side and offered feedback on how he had found their conversation.
用自己的姓氏创办保险公司的他在几年前告诉我,在晚宴结束的时候,他会转向坐在他某一边的人,针对他对与他们聊天的感觉给予反馈。
He would say: I enjoyed hearing your views on the EU, but you might have asked me about mine.
他会说:我乐于听到您对欧盟(EU)的看法,但您或许也该问问我对欧盟有什么看法。
Or: It was interesting to learn about how well your child did in his A-levels, but you seemed reluctant to discuss other topics.
或者:了解您的孩子在高中水平考试(A-Levels)中成绩优异很有意思,但您似乎不太情愿谈论其他话题。
At the time I was shocked.当时我就震惊了。
词汇释义
7. Eponymous 英 [ɪˈpɒnɪməs] 美 [ɪˈpɑnɪməs] adj.齐名的; 使得名的;
8. Turned to (Verb, from: to turn to) 转向(某人开始说话)
9. The EU 欧盟
10. A-levels (Singular: A-level) 高中水平考试
11. Reluctant 英 [rɪˈlʌktənt] 美 [rɪˈlʌktənt] adj.不情愿的,勉强的; 顽抗的;
How could he be so rude? Mr Hiscox assured me that conversing at formal dinners is a skill; it is hard to get better at anything if no one tells you where you are going wrong.
他怎能如此粗鲁?希斯考克斯向我保证,在正式晚宴上交谈是一种技能;任何事情,如果没人指点你你在哪里出了错,你很难加以改进。
I protested that there was far too much feedback in the world anyway.
我抗议道,无论如何这个世界已经有太多反馈意见。
Sometimes it was nice to be left alone to muddle through.
在不受打扰的情况下应付过去有时也不错。
Two things have made me change my mind.
两件事改变了我的看法。
The first is in the years since then I have been to too many dinners and sat next to too many people who were not trying hard enough.
第一件事是,在那之后的多年间,我参加了太多晚宴,坐在太多不够尽力的人旁边。
The second is the realisation that although there is too much useless general feedback (no, I don’t want to rate my experience in security at Heathrow Terminal 5) there is almost no specific feedback that helps us improve.
第二件事是,我意识到,虽然有太多无用的笼统反馈(不,我不想评价我在希斯罗机场5号航站楼的安检体验),但几乎没有能够帮助我们改进的具体反馈。
词汇释义
12. Conversing (Verb, from: to converse)[kənˈvə:sɪŋ] v.交谈,谈话
13. Where you are going wrong (Expression) 你在哪里出了错
14. Protested (Verb, from: to protest) 英 [prəʊ'testɪd] 美 [proʊ'testɪd] v.声明; 坚决地表示; 申辩;
15. Far too much 太多太多
16. To muddle through (Verb, from: to muddle through) 应付;蒙混过关
17. To rate 去评价;评估;
18. Heathrow Terminal 5 希思罗机场5号航站楼
Not long ago I got an email from a man who had been in the audience of a speech I had just given.
不久前,我收到了一封邮件,我在那之前刚刚发表了一次演讲,邮件是一名观众发给我的。
You really need to sort that hair/reading glasses challenge, he wrote.
他写道:你真的需要搞定头发/老花镜的挑战,
Every time you put your reading glasses on, your hair falls over your left eye and you then keep having to flick it out of the way — it looks most amusing, but must be awkward!! As a regular presenter, I always like to get feedback.
他写道,每次当你戴上老花镜,你的头发就会遮住你的左眼,然后你就会不停地把头发撩开——这看起来极其好笑,但肯定很尴尬!!
作为一个定期发表演讲的人,我总是喜欢得到反馈。
Hope you don’t mind me pointing it out!
希望你不介意我把这一点指出来!
I did mind his pointing it out.
我的确介意。
Unlike him, I never like to get feedback, unless it is entirely positive.
和他不一样,我从不喜欢得到反馈,除非这些反馈是完全正面的。
And in any case, how dare he? I never asked for his views.
再说无论如何,他怎么敢这样?我从未请求他给出意见。
And if he thought a few exclamation marks would make his message more agreeable, he was making a grave error.
如果他觉得几个感叹号会让他的邮件更容易被接受,那么他就犯了一个严重的错误。
词汇释义
19. To sort (+a challenge/problem) 搞定;
20. To flick 撩开
21. Most amusing (Expression) 最有趣的
22. Awkward (Adjective) 美 [ˈɔkwərd] adj.令人尴尬的; 难对付的; 不方便的; 笨拙的
23. Presenter 英 [prɪˈzentə(r)] 美 [prɪˈzentər] n.节目主持人,
24. In any case 无论如何,不管怎样;
25. How dare (+ personal pronoun; he, she it etc.) 怎么敢,竟敢
26. Exclamation marks 感叹号
27. A grave error 一个严重的错误
Yet his words struck home.
然而他的话对我触动很大。
It was not nice to think the audience’s merriment had been mainly on account of my hair.
想到我的头发让观众不舒服,这使我郁闷。
So for the next few speeches I printed out any notes in 24 point so I could read them without glasses, and have now cut my hair so short there is no further danger of flicking.
所以接下来的几次演讲,我都用24号字体尺寸把要点打印出来,这样我不需要眼镜也能阅读,我现在还把我的头发剪得很短,彻底消除需要撩开的危险。
On reflection, this man’s feedback was close to perfection.
细想之下,这个人给我的反馈接近完美。
It was direct but not rude.
直接,但不粗鲁。
It was clear about what was wrong — which was something fixable.
明确地指出哪里不对劲——而这个问题是可以搞定的。
It came from a disinterested source and was delivered by email — so saved my blushes.
这个反馈来自非利益相关方,并且是用邮件发过来的——免去了我在人前面红耳赤。
词汇释义
28. His words struck home (Expression, from:’ someone’s words strike/struck home’)他的话说中了要处/他的话触动很大。
29. Merriment 美 [ˈmɛrɪmənt] n.<正>欢乐,嬉戏,欢笑;
30. On account of 由于; 基于;
31. 24 point 24点(字符大小的度量单位)
32. No further (Adverb) 没有进一步的
33. On reflection 再经考虑;
34. Disinterested (Adjective) 英 [dɪsˈɪntrəstɪd] 美 [dɪsˈɪntrɪstɪd, -ˈɪntəˌrɛstɪd] adj.公正的; 无私的;使不再有利害关系;
35. So saved my blushes (expression) 免去了我在人前面红耳赤
Last week, another piece of unsolicited feedback landed in my inbox.
上周,另一份不请自来的反馈发到了我的收件箱。
This time it was from someone who was thanking me for talking at a conference he had organised.
这次邮件来自一个想要感谢我在他组织的会议上发言的人。
After a gracious start, the email finished like this: I always try to end with a tip for improvement.
在礼貌的开头后,这封邮件是这样结尾的:我总是试着用一个改进的小建议结尾。
It was a little complicated to get in touch, confirm your travel plans, and do the arrangements.
与你联络上、确定你的旅行计划,做好安排有点复杂。
Can I suggest you get an assistant?
我能建议你找个助理吗?
This was also good in that it was clear — only rather harder to fix than the hair as assistants do not come cheap.
这个反馈也不错,因为很明晰——只不过要比头发问题更难改正,因为雇个助理可不便宜。
Still, it told me that my habit of ignoring admin emails is not on.
不过,这告诉我,我无视事务性邮件的习惯不太好。
I have heeded the point and will try to sharpen up.
我留意到了这一点,并且将努力改进。
The test of unsolicited feedback is not whether it is rude or unwelcome, but whether it serves the greater good.
检验不请自来的反馈的标准,不是这个反馈是否粗鲁或者不受欢迎,而是它是否服务于更大的善。
I no longer flick my hair, and am committed to replying more promptly: the world is a happier place.
我不再撩我的头发,也努力做到更迅速地回复邮件:这个世界更美好了。
词汇释义
36. Unsolicited 英 [ˌʌnsəˈlɪsɪtɪd] 美 [ˌʌnsəˈlɪsɪtɪd] adj.主动提供的;
37. Inbox n.收件箱;
38. Gracious (Adjective) 英 [ˈgreɪʃəs] 美 [ˈɡreʃəs] adj.亲切的,和蔼的; (对王族及其行为的敬语)仁慈的,谦和的; 雅致的;
39. To get in touch (+with) 取得联系
40. Arrangements 美 [ə'rendʒmənts] n.安排( arrangement的名词复数 ); 安排
41. Do not come cheap (Expression, from: something does not come cheap.) 用起来不便宜
42.Admin(Abbreviation) abbr.administration 管理,经营,行政部门;
43. Not on ;不对的,不应发生的
44. Heeded (From: to heed something) [hi:did] v.听某人的劝告,
45. Sharpen up (Verb, from: to sharpen up something) 英 [ˈʃɑ:pən ʌp] 美 [ˈʃɑrpən ʌp]变得更好,提高水平或技术、效率等);
46. Serves the greater good (Expression) 服务于更大的善(好)
47. Committed (Adjective) 英 [kəˈmɪtɪd] 美 [kəˈmɪtɪd] adj.忠诚的,坚定的;v.保证(做某事、遵守协议或遵从安排等)( commit的过去式和过去分词 ); 把…托付给; 把…记(或写)下来; 承诺
48. Promptly 英 [ˈprɒmptli] 美 [ˈprɑmptli] adv.敏捷地; 迅速地; 立即地;
Soon after my lunch with Mr Hiscox I was sat at a dinner next to a well-known snooty broadcaster.
在我与希斯考克斯共进午餐之后不久,我在一次晚宴上坐在一位著名的目中无人的主持人旁边。
Throughout the meal I tried hard to be agreeable; he sat there taciturn, looking catatonic and mildly incredulous as I plied him with question and anecdote.
在用餐期间,我努力做到友好可亲;他却坐在那里一言不发,在我向他抛出一大堆问题和轶事的时候看起来紧张和略微有些狐疑。
At the end of the evening I longed to offer him a report card, but bottled.
晚宴结束时,我很想给他一张成绩单,但终于没能鼓起勇气。
I have regretted it ever since: I bet if I had explained his poor performance he would have been first shocked, then mortified.
此后我一直为此后悔:我敢打赌,如果我向他解释他表现糟糕,他首先会震惊,然后感到难堪。
I dare say he would have liked me (even) less, but might have tried harder in future.
我敢说,他之后会(更)不喜欢我了,但可能会在未来更加努力。
Next time, I’m going for it.
下次我一定要试一试。
词汇释义
49. I was sat 我坐在. ..
50. Snooty (Adjective) 英 [ˈsnu:ti] 美 ['snutɪ] adj.<口>高傲自大的,媚上傲下的;
51. Taciturn (Adjective) 英 [ˈtæsɪtɜ:n] 美 [ˈtæsɪtɜrn] adj.沉默寡言的,不爱说话的;
52. Catatonic (Adjective) 英 [ˌkætəˈtɒnɪk] 美 [ˌkætəˈtɑnɪk] adj.(患)紧张症的, (患)强直性昏厥的;
53. Mildly (Adverb) 英 [ˈmaɪldli] 美 [ˈmaɪldli] adv.和善地; 轻微地; 说得委婉些; 说得好听一点
54. Incredulous 英 [ɪnˈkredjələs] 美 [ɪnˈkredʒələs] adj.表示怀疑的,不相信的;
55. Plied (Verb, from: to ply somebody with something) [plaɪd] v.使用(工具)( ply的过去式和过去分词 ); 经常供应(食物、饮料); 固定往来; 经营生意
56. Anecdote 英 [ˈænɪkdəʊt] 美 [ˈænɪkdoʊt] n.趣闻,轶事; [复数]秘史;
57. Longed to (Verb, from: to long to/for) 渴望
58. Report card 英 [riˈpɔ:t kɑ:d] 美 [rɪˈpɔrt kɑrd] n.成绩单;
59. Bottled (Phrasal verb) 英 ['bɒtld] 美 ['bɒtld] adj.瓶装的;
60. Bet (Verb, from: to bet that…) 英 [bet] 美 [bet] n.打赌,赌博,赌注; 被下赌注的对象; 可能性;vi.当然,的确; 打赌(on,against,with);vt.赌博; 与…打赌; 下赌注; 确信
61. Mortified (Adjective) [ˈmɔ:təˌfaɪd] v.使受辱( mortify的过去式和过去分词 ); 伤害(人的感情); 克制; 抑制(肉体、情感等)
62. I dare say 我敢说/
63. I’m going for it 我要去做
力 彑
-❶-
THE END
〈双语美文〉
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